Letters from Kamp Krusty

The Most Disturbing Album Covers Ever (Pt. 1)

Kamp Krusty's First-Ever Theme Week: Gird Yourself

I'll be unable to post next week.  I'll be Christian Cruising.

So I'm going to time-release some posts, one each day, that will amaze and provoke.

I give you:  The Most Disturbing Album Covers Ever. 

A local paper brought up the subject, so I thought I'd hand-pick my personal faves.  I will not be here, but they -- they will not, can not, be stopped.  They are timed to upload themselves onto Kamp Krusty, punishing readers like a slow, time-release drip. 

The first Disturbing Album Covers drop on Monday.  Gird yourself.

C-Ya, Chumps: I'm Going on an Awesome Christian Cruise

Me?  I'm going on an awesome Christian cruise. 

This time Monday, Carolyn and I will be doing that thing where everybody throws confetti and says "bon voyage" in a wild, festive, raucous bacchanal of sobriety.

I have been told I will enjoy the ocean of food that will be arrayed before me.  Also, apparently, given the picture of our ship that Google called up, I will also be called to administer Christian massages to immodest Christian females.  I will decline this.

Then, I will relax next to a Christian pool with the members of Casting Crowns. 

My life is a non-stop Carnival of Irony.

UPDATE:

Some of you are questioning the willy-nilly use of "Christian" when applied to entertainment options.  I understand;  I used to be the same way.

But then I was invited on this cruise.

It's caused me to really reflect and re-think some things. 

I plan to continue ruminating, as I do what I feel God has long called me to do:  Float at sea while karaoke-ing with Dallas Holm.

More Excerpts from The 417 Rules of Awesomely Bold Leadership: Lead Through Endless Talking About Leading

Rule #114:  There's only one way Leadership gets done:  Through talking about leading.

[Excerpt]

...and I'm here to tell you, that next morning I woke up with sixteen more rules and twelve more acronyms!  My publisher was thrilled to get the manuscript on-time, again.  Leadership is all about coming through in the clutch.

And you can't just "get" leadership.  You have to live it.  And how do you "live it"?  Good question, friend!

Here's how:  You travel around and talk about it.  Endlessly.  Traveling around, talking about it, writing about it, coming up with rules about it, rhyming it with other words, googling for quotes about it, putting those quotes on notecards, and updating your books with the things that you wrote on those notecards.  For years.

Am I, the Vision Coach, a true leader?  Well, friend, sometimes I can barely get out the door in the morning.  Why?  Friend, I'm pinned in by stacks of thousands of notecards.

Heck yes, I'm a leader. 

Leadership is talking about leadership.  It's like my friend, says, who met Tiger Woods:  "Simply hanging around with golfers doesn't make you a golfer."  No.  But traveling the world, yammering on about golfing, without pause, for decades?  Now you're golfing, friend!

"I 'led' D-Day, but I didn't learn about leadership until I collected 1,000 funny stories about leadership and went around telling them all over the place."

-- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I Saw What They Were Doing Up There in First Class

I like it when I get to go on a plane!  One of the neat things is how they divide us into "classes"!  I'm glad they put a curtain between me and the First Class people!  I can sure understand why they would not want to even SEE people like me.   I wouldn't, either! 

Or, maybe, they don't want people like me to see people like them!  I can understand that, too!  If I was "First Class", I wouldn't want people like me to be able to see me, either, that's for sure!  I'd want a curtain between me and me, too!  Just thinking about me makes me kind of sick.

The plane people always want me to sit down in a special Other Section, called "Coach"!  It's a special other section, just for people like me!  I like it when I get to sit by the 600 pound guy!  I like it because the side of my face leaves neat patterns on the window!   

Thing is, I just flew on a plane, in my special section, and I needed to go to the bathroom REALLY, REALLY bad.  The plane-people had a peanut cart on wheels, which was neat, but it blocked my way to my special Coach bathroom!  I didn't know what to do.  My only other choice was to crash through the Veil, and use the First Class Lavatory.  But that's for First Class Passengers Only! 

Do you know what I did?

I urinated in the First Class bathroom. 

I did!  First, I pulled back the veil, and then I saw what they were doing up there in First Class.  You know what they do up there in First Class?  I found out:  They stare at people!  I saw them do it.  They stare at people who come from behind the veil and walk to the bathroom! 

I think they knew what I was going to do, too, in there.  And while I was doing that, I wondered if they would still be staring when I went back to my own special section!  And they were!  I think they were grossed out.  I'd be grossed out, too, if someone like me used MY special bathroom!

They also get face cloths.  I saw that, too.

(From the Archives) Not Drinking Wine: A Sin?

(Haven't had much time to write, so thought I'd re-post this, which is a subject I've been thinking about lately.  As I've written before:  Eventually, my readership will reach zero.  You WILL be alienated by me.  I figure if that last post didn't do it -- written in JEST, folks -- this one can finish off the other half.)

Yes, I realize there are good arguments to be made -- deep, theologically profound arguments -- but I still say it's not a sin to not drink wine.

I think we have to avoid judging other people's hearts.  Rejecting wine, for some, is a legitimate freedom that they have, and they are welcome to that, provided, of course, it's not borne of selfish, prideful, or legalistic motivations.

Yes, I know, wine is a consistent symbol throughout scripture, of God's peace, of Heaven itself, of God's covenant with us.   Yes, I know, the O.T. prophets intimately link the image of wine with the very Kingdom of God.  I'm aware of this.

Still, we shouldn't judge others.  There were many well-intended people in the Women's Temperance movement.  Yes, it's true, ALL of God's good gifts can be abused and misused, but still, some WTU-types were honestly concerned about how society was defiling that good gift, and could only imagine rejecting it altogether.

Yes, Jesus's very first miracle was a sure sign of the coming of the Kingdom:  Wine.  And it was performed "on the third day" -- a phrase, a parallel, unmistakable to early believers.  Heaven and earth were colliding.  Yes, all that's true.  Yes, in one of the most romantic images ever recorded, a death-sentenced Jesus told us to drink wine to remember him.  And he?  He would wait for us, until we could sit at table again, and join him in the Kingdom party. 

Yes, scripture is quite clear and thorough-going about it:  Wine is a gift, pregnant with wonderful meaning, linked with the very soil, a sign of the creation that was created Good, and will be fully restored in the great Feast.

But is rejecting that gift a sin?  I don't think we can say that.  God knows our hearts, and He will be the final judge, not us.

Yes, I realize there are good arguments to be made -- deep, theologically profound arguments -- but I still say it's not a sin to not drink wine.

I think we have to avoid judging other people's hearts.  Rejecting wine, for some, is a legitimate freedom that they have, and they are welcome to that, provided, of course, it's not borne of selfish, prideful, or legalistic motivations.

Yes, I know, wine is a consistent symbol throughout scripture, of God's peace, of Heaven itself, of God's covenant with us.   Yes, I know, the O.T. prophets intimately link the image of wine with the very Kingdom of God.  I'm aware of this.

Still, we shouldn't judge others.  There were many well-intended people in the Women's Temperance movement.  Yes, it's true, ALL of God's good gifts can be abused and misused, but still, some WTU-types were honestly concerned about how society was defiling that good gift, and could only imagine rejecting it altogether.

Yes, Jesus's very first miracle was a sure sign of the coming of the Kingdom:  Wine.  And it was performed "on the third day" -- a phrase, a parallel, unmistakable to early believers.  Heaven and earth were colliding.  Yes, all that's true.  Yes, in one of the most romantic images ever recorded, a death-sentenced Jesus told us to drink wine to remember him.  And he?  He would wait for us, until we could sit at table again, and join him in the Kingdom party. 

Yes, scripture is quite clear and thorough-going about it:  Wine is a gift, pregnant with wonderful meaning, linked with the very soil, a sign of the creation that was created Good, and will be fully restored in the great Feast.

But is rejecting that gift a sin?  I don't think we can say that.  God knows our hearts, and He will be the final judge, not us.

Kamp Krusty Fixes the Environment

Kamp Krusty already solved poverty, but, it turns out, college professors weren't caring enough.  So, sadly, poverty is not yet history.  Turns out, academics like keeping things, you know, academic.

So, next modest proposal:  How about saving our very, very, very fragile Earth?  I'm with those folks who say we Americans have become so addicted to our lifestyle that we're going to have to make some hard choices.  We need to make some sacrifices that will change our very way of life, even if it threatens our current ideas of "prosperity". 

These will be unpopular choices, yes, but what good is protecting our lifestyle, if the planet is destroyed? 

Answer:  None good.  Zero good. 

That's why we should abolish mass-schooling.

It'll save about five BILLION bus miles, right off the bat.  That's 5,000,000,000 miles, yearly, including extra-curricular trips.  Think of the exhaust fumes, the fossil fuels -- five BILLION miles!  Every year! 

And that's not even counting the cars.  Billions more miles with millions of cars, cramming roadways every morning and afternoon, students and staff, belching Earth-threatening gases into the sky. 

And imagine, if you can, the energy usage of more than 120,000 large facilities!  Billions of climate-controlled square feet, the massive expenditure of electricity for air conditioning and heating, not to mention the wanton, and lasting, environmental damage involved in construction, the habitats and green coverage paved to make room for parking lots -- mass-schooling is suicide for the environment, let's face it.

Of course, my family already participates in this plan, but teaching our kids here at home, as we believe Earth is worth saving, but maybe you disagree with that, and you hate the Earth.  I can respect that.

Yes, closing mass factory-style schools will be a sacrifice.  But we've been warned about that.  Yes, it will have an impact on our American way of life...but we knew that would have to happen.  Yes, this will meet with stiff resistance from those entrenched special-interests we've heard about, but that's what happens when you advocate for change.  Stupid special-interests. 

Yes, it will make education more difficult for many.  But answer this question:  How much value is your education if the Earth is destroyed?  Huh?  None value, that's how much.

Environmentally-conscious Americans will take heed.  Of course, those with heads in the sand will continue to prop up the current Earth-destroying system, all the way to the coming environmental apacolypse. 

Or apocalypse.  I'm not sure which.

Hansen Inexplicably Promoted; Radio Industry Apparently in Final Throes

For most people, "Christian radio" isn't on the radar.  And, for most people who read this blog, "Christian radio" has an approval rating right up there with, say, polio.

But it's what I do, and I'm thankful for that.  I get to annoy, cajole, prod, anger, and -- mostly -- confuse people on a daily basis.  Best of all, I'm talking to a lot of Good Churchgoing Folk, so I get to talk about the Kingdom of God to an unreached people group.

I've also been a mainstream talk radio host, and could compare and contrast the two audiences, and maybe will someday, if you care.  Meantime, let's just say I do love the people who listen to Christian radio.  I know them.  I didn't just grow up with them, I grew up one of them.  They are my people.

MLK said you can't change that which you do not first love, and that works for me, because I love them, and yes, I've got an agenda for them.  I'm not trying to single-handedly "reach out", via mass-media, to a hip, postmod culture.  I'm trying to convince people who claim to be the church to actually be the church.  Trust me, if that happens, you'll think to yourself, what a wonderful world.

Anyway, our show is pretty dang honest.  It's not smooth.  I don't talk with my "radio voice".  It's like the Muppet Show, where you're pretty sure they're trying hard to do a "show", but the intrigue is the fumbling backstage. 

I talk about my struggles with depression, the time I just got busted for stealing (not joking) and my own self-esteem issues and why I find Good Christians so frustrating sometimes.  I'm not the only one doing this in Christian radio, and it's not heroic, but it's something.  Why am I allowed to do this?  I belong to an organization that really wants to accomplish the same things.

I'm not alone on the show.  My producer, Nikki, expertly plays Pam Beasley to my mix of Michael Scott-Dwight Schrute.  We don't do many artist interviews, and our goal, beyond making people consider following Jesus, is to leave people slack-jawed confused.  (Hence, today's "acoustic weather forecast", wherein Nikki delivers the weather, annoyed, over my enthusiastic, live, acoustic guitar folk stylings.)  If we leave half the audience saying, "Wha--?" -- mission accomplished.

So here's the news (this is called "burying the lede" in the biz):  Our show will be syndicated, starting in July, on 50 or so stations.  Technically, we'll be "coast-to-coast", since we're reaching Portland from South Florida, but mostly, it'll be concentrated in the Southeast, in cities like Tallahassee, Louisville, Charleston, and Nashville.

So, in July, listen, if you like.  You may hate it.  You may hate me.  But mark my words:  You WILL hate my accordion.

This Game is in the Sheep-Tranquilizing Genre

As you know, I look for opportunities -- I relish them, really -- to personally defeat you at things.  One-on-one, mano-a-mano.  Me vs. You.

Now, it's the Tranquilize the Runaway Sheep Game that tests your reaction time. 

I scored a .156 second reaction time.  Good luck!

...chump.

If Jesus Had a Blog: This One Religious Guy SO Didn't Like My Answer

So this one religious guy walks up, and he's got this rep for knowing all the rules.  And he goes all like, "Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?"

So I said unto him, "What is written in the law? How readest thou?"

And he answering said, "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself."

And I said unto him, "Thou hast answered right: this do, and thou shalt live."

...and lo, he was not cool with that.  At ALL.

Posted 1:34 p.m.  in Category "Check Me Out I'm Talking in Elizabethan English"

16 Comments

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COMMENTS

Can't say I blame the guy.  You just wrote off studying scripture, being baptized, repentance, the church -- the whole works -- as worthless. 

Maybe he was hoping for someone to actually help, instead of a simplistic sound bite. 

-- savedbygrace313

I usually like your blog.

But you totally had a chance to seal the deal with this guy, and you just gave him an answer you knew would upset him.  You could have prayed the sinner's prayer with him, could have showed him the chart-thing with the two cliffs and the stick figure on one side and God on the other and how the cross would bridge the gap, but instead you do this, knowing he'd be ticked off.  I don't get it.

-- phillyphan22

And how are we supposed to quantify "love"?  How do I know I'm saved then?

How is this answer supposed to help?  How do I check this off? 

I'm with "savedbygrace".  Instead of being simplistic, why not just give him the right answer?

-- studytheword111

Wow...just wow.

-- i_always_say_wow_just_wow24

this is neat because i love GOD a LOT an d i cant do much right sometimes so i love that you said that

-- jess

Sure, it's really neat that a carpenter from backwater Nowhere can wipe out 2000 years of theology in one blog post. 

Seriously, do some reading before you make up simplistic answers to eternal questions. 

-- theophilus_phd

This is why I LOVE this blog.  You tick off religious people, and make people like me feel like God loves me.  God actually *loves* me.  That is so wild to think about sometimes!

-- marymags123

Jesus Christ, I don't know where you get this stuff.

I realize it's "hip" and "emergent" now to say it's all about love, blah blah blah, but there IS such a thing as the Bible, and we do have rules about the Truth, and it's not just "love".  Sorry.

Jesus, it's amazing what people will believe when we get away from solid teaching.

-- rootedintheword1972

I think what Jesus REALLY meant to say is that this guy wasn't particularly loving, so he needed to love.  He did everything else just fine, like tithing and keeping the Sabbath, and love is just another one of the things you're supposed to do. 

That's the way I look at it.  Jesus was just saying love is another thing to check off the list, and this guy was doing a good job on the list, and so it's just one more thing.  Right Jesus?

-- sallyann

No, Jesus REALLY means that you have to take this in context with all of the Bible.  Jesus knew that guy would eventually have a New Testament, so he could understand that Jesus didn't really mean that eternal life wouldn't really be based on loving God with heart, soul, strength mind, and loving neighbor.   God knows it's not that simple.  If it were, I could preach in less than 35 minutes.

-- RevBoy22

No, what Jesus REALLY means is that God has a wonderful plan for your life, and you need a daily quiet time like NOW or else you're really blowing it, big-time, and you need to start witnessing more fervently, and memorizing The Word.

-- goterrapins1990

No, what Jesus is REALLY trying to say here is that we've lost a sense of right and wrong, and especially kids these days.  Which isn't surprising, because we don't even pray in schools!  Pass this on to ten friends if you love Jesus!

-- huckafan2008

huckaby sux

-- blinkrulz

I think what Jesus is REALLY saying is that he's freaking nuts.

Imagine if we really started believing this stuff.  All we have to do is "love" God, "love" our neighbor as ourselves, and we live eternally in the Kingdom of God.  So everyone who doesn't "love" God, even if they tithe, pray, preach, evangelize, memorize, all that stuff -- won't be in the Kingdom?

Is that what you're saying?  So I guess we can just do whatever we want then.  Neat.  Hellooooo chaos.

-- disappointed_with_this_blog

Hey "disappointed"...if you don't love God here, why would you even *want* to go somewhere where He's FULLY in charge?  Think about it.  Maybe people who don't love what He's about here would really hate heaven anyway.

-- hunterboy99

i like ur blog jesus and i love you lots!!!!!!!!!

-- horsegirl1999

Sorry No Posting -- We've Been Moving

Gilbert Meilander once wrote about moving.  He likened it, for the young, single person, to flitting about in a glider.  You want to go left?  You go left.  Want to dip?  You dip.  Wham.  That easy.

With a family?  It's different.  More like commanding an aircraft carrier. You want to go left?  You signal about six months in advance, and begin a process that throws every hand on deck into upheaval.  More accurately, it's like commanding an aircraft carrier to begin turning left, then losing your glasses, iPod, and underwear for a week.

I can't find anything.

At least we're wired now. Good news: When you move, you find stuff you've been missing for years.  My "West Houston Bowling" shirt is back, as is my "I Love Tater Tots" t-shirt, just in time to be uncomfortably late in referencing Napoleon Dynamite.  No sign of Nigel's leg -- thanks for asking.

And the Winner for "Bset Inentinvoni Eevr" is...

New Kamp Krusty Feature: "If Jesus Had a Blog"

We FINALLY got an internet cafe in Galilee.  The ESSENES have DSL, and we're just getting dial-up.  That should tell you something!

Anyway, I was hanging out with some religious leaders.  They got on my case for not keeping their Favorite Rules (apparently, you HAVE to wash up before dinner, in accordance with scripture.)  I told them religious leaders love to have rules to make everyone else feel inadequate.  They "tithe", and stuff, but my Father doesn't care, because He's all about people having hearts for mercy, and justice, not the tithing rule.

Didn't fly very well.  :0

Posted 12:36 p.m.  in Category "Stuff I Was Talking About in Aramaic Today but Now I'm Typing in English"

12 Comments

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COMMENTS

Jesus, love ya, but I think you're throwing the baby out with the bathwater again, here.  There's nothing wrong with tithing, there's a lot of scriptural precedent for it.   

I "get" where you're coming from, a lot of the time, but this is a little too simplistic.  I encourage you to continue to learn and study. 

-- karifish777

I normally don't comment, but I had to come out of lurking here. 

"karifish" is right, Jesus.  It's easy to criticize and critique, but how exactly do we measure "mercy" and "justice"?   

Maybe pray about this and talk to your pastor about it.  Oh -- I forgot -- you don't HAVE a pastor!  (I still remember that "brood of vipers" entry...)

-- chapterboy21

J -- I usually love your blog, and I appreciate the need for "love", here, but you're basically saying (am I clear on this) that it doesn't matter if I give money or not? 

You go off on these guys, but they're following their convictions.  I appreciate your emphasis on having a heart for mercy, but that's not the only issue.  We need people to DO things that show their hearts, and tithing is part of that.  I'm glad I tithe.

My dad is a pastor, and I showed him your blog.  He said (no offense) you've probably got a thing with authority.  Anyway, I don't think you do, but you tend to over-simplify things.

-- buckeyesgo02

Dude, what are you smoking?

Honestly I love some of the funny stuff you post here (that cartoon of Herod was over-the-top, though) but this is just wrong, I'm sorry.  You are too reactionary against religious authority.  God put those authorities in your life.  Look it up in the Bible, the Word of God.  (I know, I know, I caught your post about how YOU are the word.  Didn't care for that, either.)

-- quiettimephil

OMG.  I *love* this. 

THANK YOU for posting this.  I have felt like a loser for so long, like I can't keep up with all the rules and everything my church is asking me to do and I feel like a failure as a single mom.  And you're saying you just want to see me love people!   

I'm crying. Thank you.

-- karen83

J-Train -- Love the blog.  Keep it comin' brother!

You do seem to lump all religious leaders together.  I appreciate your point, but the fact is, there are LOTS of great religious leaders out there.  You've got a little 'tude going on there, and you speak in big, blanket statements. 

Yes, our religious system is messed.  But we don't need to trash it.  We need to reform it.  Blasting our leaders doesn't help.  We NEED great religious leaders.  I just wish you'd acknowledge that. 

Anyway, just a thought from a brother.

-- agape4U

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-- yourmedsnow2323434

I linked to your blog from your woodworking site.  I had ordered a new wood pulpit, but now I'm going to cancel, now that I can see where your head is with regard to religious leaders and our system.

To be honest, I'm surprised you have a public platform in Christian ministry, and that you're still allowed to do it.  I wonder if your audiences knew what you really thought...would you still have a job?

-- preachtheword9021

Yeah, let's all stop tithing.  Let's stop obeying all the rules.  There won't be any pastors, and we won't be able to pay the bills for our churches.  Nice.

While I'm at it, I'll quit as worship pastor and give all my money to the poor.   Why don't you quit ripping on everything and tell us how church government is SUPPOSED to work?  You never detail that, you just rip, rip, rip.

-- jesusfreak777

Dude -- This story is CLASSIC.

This is why I try to link everyone to your blog.  In fact, my church-planting site is all about trying to get people to believe what you're saying.  You RULE, man. 

I'm so totally with you on the establishment, too.  The weird thing: Almost as soon as I get a new group of Jesus-blog-followers going, and then I try to recognize the mature SERVANTS among them, they all start ranking themselves, and jostling for position and attention.  Unbe-freaking-lievable. 

I write letters to them, telling them to quit putting rules on people, and then they make rules out of my letters.  Hellooooo?

Anyway, I used to be one of those guys putting rules on people, trying to make things complex.  Swet gig, that. THANKS -- seriously -- for putting me out of THAT job. 

-- saul_call_me_paul23

Love the blog.  I think you way over-simplify, and I don't think you're right on all this stuff.  But if you are, I  just wasted three years in seminary.

-- lutherules99192

i don't understand the tithe thing but i like yourblog and i read the thing about how kids rule and i liked that a lot

i like the little yellow flowers U made UR AWSOME

-- horsegirl1999

UPDATE: My Opponents are Sabotaging Me

Yeah, big "coincidence".

I'm on my way to Nashville, for the Gigantic Award Thing, and I'm getting on the plane, and the mechanic guys notice a huge hydraulic leak.

Huh.  Interesting timing.  What are the odds.  Huh.  Yeah.

So I'm supposed to be in Nashville, but I'm not.  I'm typing this now from stupid Philadelphia.   

Nice try, opponents.   Your attempts to violently force my plane down, mid-flight, were thwarted.  Plus, I question your thinking:  It's not like if your plan was successful, they'd announced that I'd won, but say, "Well, Brant won, but he was killed in a plane crash yesterday, so let's give it to someone else."  No.  They would have had a moment of silence, and they would have mailed the trophy to West Palm, and they probably would have had like a slide show about me or something. 

Your intent:  Less glory for me.  Your actual result:  Big pictures of me, accompanied by "I Can Only Imagine".  You didn't think that through, opponents.

Again, the joke would have been on you.  But your dumb plan failed, and if I can ever leave Philadelphia, your worst nightmare will be in Nashville!  Ha HA!  Checkmate, my friends...if I can get on another flight here in a second.

I seriously just realized I'm sitting at the wrong gate right now. But as I get up and move to the right one, where I might be able to get on that other flight:  Be sore afraid.

I've Been Nominated for Yet Another Huge Award

Once again, I've been nominated for yet another huge award.

I leave for Nashville tomorrow morning, where I'll be whisked from the airport aboard a Gray Line bus to some hotel.  And on Sunday, there will be a big lunch thing, and at that lunch thing, they will announce the Echo Awards "Radio Personality of the Year".

This latest honor would follow a string of awards:

1)  "Mr. Hustle" -- Assumption, Illinois Little League, 1982

-

So it's kind of embarrassing, but it's like every time I turn around it's, "Oh, here's another award."

"Mr. Hustle", and now, 26 years later, wham! -- another one.  As before noted, I played eight years of baseball, and batted .000 for my entire career.  Eight years.  Let me tell you, it's not easy to "hustle" when you don't actually leave the batter's box.  You have a very confined area in which to "hustle".  I suppose I did deserve an award, for hustling within a 3 x 7 foot box.

I don't expect to win.  I'm one of five nominees in my category, and the whole thing is kind of mysterious.  I know only this:  Whoever nominates hasn't actually heard me on the radio.

I'll let you know how it goes.  These award things are silly, really!  They just are.  Silliness!  And I don't think our medium should be about "competing" when we should be all about the Kingdom, so, just, you know, keep me in mind this weekend, that's all, and pray that my opponents will be humbled, brought to their knees, awestruck by my acceptance speech, paralyzed with crippling jealousy, and that everyone just has a good time of fellowship.

 

C.R. Chicks Has Some Really Good Chicken

My friend went to "C.R. Chicks" to eat some chicken.  It's a little place where they have rotisserie chicken, and it's pretty good, I think.  That's my opinion.

He ran into a person he used to go to church with.  She asked, "Hey -- haven't seen you for awhile.  What're you up to?"  He'd actually stopped going there a year and a half ago.  He told her he found some friends who really loved him, and he's really growing and stuff, and no, he doesn't go to that church anymore, but it's all cool.

She loudly began praying for the "spirit of rebellion" to come out of him.  My friend says he didn't really feel anything happen after that, but he finished his chicken there at C.R. Chicks.   

C.R. Chicks also has meat loaf sandwiches which are pretty good. 

Personal Invite to Dynamic Workshop

The Seminar is TONIGHT, Thursday! New Time Announced! 7 p.m. ET!

Dear ___BLOG READER___ ,

Friend, is it time for you to take your leadership to the next level?

You know it is, ___BLOG___!  And tonight is your big chance!

We've changed the time:  It's now at 7 p.m. ET! 

That's to accomodate you, ___BLOG READER___ !

Go to www.shapevine.com and register!  It's free!  Join me and my facilitator, Doug Hannah.  If you can't tell whose who:  I'll be the one firmly in control.

Here's why you should be included, ___MR. B. READER___ , as we've designed a seminar just for you and the ____READER____ family!

-- We'll empower your leadership to become BOLD leadership.

-- If your leadership is already BOLD, we'll take it to AWESOMELY BOLD.

-- We'll equip you to lead not just "people", but the RIGHT people:  Other leaders of leading leaders!

-- Breakout groups!

-- We'll visualize, together, how to give a hurting world what it's been waiting for:  Your Vision Statement.

-- A PowerPoint Presentation will be Presented, equipping you through graphical motivational graphics!

-- We'll equip and empower you to enhance your Bold Leadership by using words like "equip" and "empower"!

___BLOG READER___, you are my friend, and I would hate for you to miss this one-time-only "webinar" event.  Best of all, it's free, worth every penny, and more.

Visualizing a Great Tomorrow at My Event,

The Vision Coach

Kicking the Bucket List

I've gotten some hilarious reactions, in a number of quarters, to my "bucket list".

A lot of Christians don't buy it.  It just...bugs...them.  Wha...but...you...this...no.   There's something that bugs us, deep down, about this idea that we can't do anything to save ourselves.  Oh, we "believe" it, theologically, but we don't really believe it.  Not really.  At least we don't want it pointed out.  Not specifically.  Not like that.

Lots of people threatened...and no one able to articulate what's really wrong with it.  Every one of those things can be done without giving God your heart.  God wants your heart.  God wants your heart.  God wants your heart.  Too simplistic?  Too bad.  Children often understand the Kingdom better than adults do, I once read.

So yeah, it's very threatening, and that's fascinating.  But it's not threatening to everyone, certainly.  It's good news for some, and very, very bad news, for others.  It's good news for folks who've failed at religion.  (Who am I kidding?  We've all failed at it.  More accurately, it's good news for those who've failed and admitted it.)

One obvious reason:  We'd rather think God wants our checklist, rather than our hearts.  But this is in complete opposition to anything Biblical, for what it's worth.  If we look for him "wholeheartedly", He says, we'll find Him.  The other stuff, minus the heart, is an offense.  The heart is the issue, from Genesis to Revelation.

But don't say it too loud.  Christians will get ticked.

I spoke at a church recently, and mentioned how God doesn't really NEED us to do something.  He could do it Himself.  Point is, He allows us to be part of the work of His Kingdom, to let us play a role in setting things right in the world.

The next time I was getting read to speak there, the pastor told me, half-jokingly, "Hey, we're doing our big drive today to get 200 people to help in the children's ministry.  Please don't mention the thing about how God doesn't really 'need' you..."

I think one reason a list like this can threaten is a lot of the stuff, like tithing, leading worship, attendance at services and small groups and such, makes for strong institutions. 

If we start saying, "This isn't what God wants, folks.  He wants your heart."  -- well, yeah, it may be true, but can you keep it theoretical?

The Most Influential People in American Christianity

Here's a starter list of the Most Influential People in what we might call American Christianity, in the evangelical sense, for lack of a better term.  They're the ones whose thinking has had the most impact on the way we actually live.

Nobody agrees with lists -- please make your own -- but here's mine:

1)  Paul

2)  Martin Luther

3)  Bill Bright/Billy Graham (tie)

4)  John Calvin

5)  Jonathan Edwards

7)  Bill Hybels

8)  James Dobson

9)  Tim LaHaye and That Other Guy

10)  (tie)  Jesus of Nazareth/John Wesley